And, I'm done....

They say hindsight is 20/20. There is a lot of truth in that. Looking back I can see all of the attempts God has made at teaching me to be patient. To slow down. To enjoy life... rather than conquer it.

I can also see that I am pretty hard headed. I continue to go all-out, all the time. Now, with multiple back surgeries behind me, it is like God has installed his own little stress barometer. It is like a turkey timer for my life. When I am paying too much attention to work/others and not enough to my own life, it pops. Well, it went off this morning. That's how I know I am done.

I wake up with intense pain in my butt (medically, I believe the term is sciatica, but it just feel like a sharp shooting pain in the butt) and no feeling in my right leg. Yup, it is as terrifying as it sounds! My back isn't injured (anymore than it already was) I don't think. It's just angry with me. That is my little alarm, installed by doctors, but controlled by God.

It means I have let my stress level get too high. (And, it has been a stressful, emotional week.) The only "cure" is to take it easy. That is why I spent until 11am today in bed and the rest of the day on the living room floor. (I have learned that while I like my couch when my back is happy, it is not so great when my back is angry). The floor was my friend today and might be tomorrow at work as well.

My back seems some better by this evening and my foot is full of that "pins and needles" feeling you get when it wakes up after going to sleep. I still won't be running a marathon tomorrow (or ever, for that matter). However, my noon water aerobics does sound particularly appealing.