When will the grass be green?
When will the grass be green where I am?
This is not a horticultural question. I am not talking about the literal grass. I am talking about the tendency to judge what you have against what you could have. You know, the whole "Grass is greener on the other side of the fence" mentality.
I enjoy Oregon. When I am here, I get into a routine. I have new friends I spend time with and a book club I enjoy. I have meetings and events. I have a church and a Bible study that I enjoy. I have found places I like to eat and shop.I like my apartment (although I miss having a place to garden). Most of the time I like the climate. There is always something new to see or do. It's comfortable. I am in no way unhappy.
Until I go home.
When I am home I get to see all that I am missing. The nieces and nephew are bigger. My parents are older. My siblings are moving on and doing great things. I am missing the Sunday dinners and birthday celebrations. I am missing the joy of holidays together. I don't see Aunts and cousins and old friends. I fly in and then I fly out.
This trip, in particular, it hit me. My niece Kinsley was 3 weeks old when I left this time. When I see her again, she will be almost 5 months old. In that time span, Emily will turn 3. My little brother will turn 28. My mom and sister will share a birthday. Curtis will become a tween. Easter will come and go. Mother's Day and Father's Day will pass. With all that in mind, I had trouble saying goodbye this time. I hugged my parents without words because, well, with words would come tears.
The solution cannot be: Don't go home.
The solution cannot be: Give up the job you have worked years to have.
What is the solution to finding the green grass where I am?