Thoughts I am still processing....

I have been in a Conversational Skills course (by Paul Axtell) for the last two days. Paul says insights last from 5 minutes to 5 hours and, if you don't do something about them, they are gone. You either capture it, or lose it.  In an attempt to capture some of the insights and information gained from the course, I am putting some thoughts here.

  • Either everything matters... or nothing matters.
  • Accountability is assigned. Responsibility is a context you choose.
  • Some thinking is better alone. Find 45 minutes to be alone with your thoughts everyday (no radio in the car; no TV in the background). You mind will immediately set to solving the unsolved problems. 
  • Some thinking is better done with another person listening. These include: debriefing. venting. goals setting.
  • Human nature means we are hardwired with certain responses. These include: we take almost everything personally; we have a desire to avoid being dominated; we want to look good/avoid looking bad; we want to be comfortable; we want quick answers now; we judge - to make sense of a very complicated world in quick time; we resign or settle; we have a desire to be right/ make others wrong; 
  • If you wait until the last minute to do a task, there is compromise.
  • A large project needs a milestone every 2-3 weeks. These milestones allow you to lay out the project, to check progress and the intermediate deadlines create a sense of urgency you need to make early progress.
  • Conversation has a half life of about 40 minutes. It is disappearing.
  • The future only exists in conversations.
  • Two people can dream bigger than one (the reason we need coaching - or a friend to hold us accountable).
  • Whatever future you are thinking about is less than what's possible.
  • It's all about awareness. The moment you become aware, you are back at choice.
  • A dream is just a goal that burns so brightly you don't have to write it down.
  • If your context is not sufficient, find a new one. Change your perspective... and everything else changes.
  • What if a relationship is just a series of conversations? Think about the last 5 conversations you have had with friends or family. That is what your relationship has become. If you want a different kind of relationship, change the conversation.
  • All it takes to have a relationship is to talk about something that matters. And, listen.
  • Life is not causal. It is correlational.(this one appeals to my dorky research side) Anytime you say yes to something, you are saying no to something else. Saying yes to a project at work means saying no to something in your personal life.

I hope to revisit this list later.... as I continue to chew on them.

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